marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
