good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
this will be a night to untag.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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