This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
