it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
