we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Bring me that man meat
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
