If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I think my vagina is haunted
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
