Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
