Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
