Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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