she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
