I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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