Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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