they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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