I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
