I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
