I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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