so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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