Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
