I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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