I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
