It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
