If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He called his prostate his "boner button".
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
