Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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