This is not my ceiling
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
