he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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