I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
