Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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