we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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