Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
