She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
