Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
