youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
are you so shy because you have an std?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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