He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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