Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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