I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
