i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
