I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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