Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Randomize
