we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
