if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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