in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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