Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
