i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
