Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
