I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
