Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
