I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
