oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Randomize
