I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
