question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
