i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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