I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
