Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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