We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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