Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
