is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
