doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We are all done wearing pants today
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