TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
