He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
