how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Come share oat with me in your robe
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
