btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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