Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
