i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
