oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
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My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
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I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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